7 Tips For if You Have to Labor Alone
So the biggest issue now is Mommas having to labor and deliver alone. Never did I think we would be in a time where Mommas would have to labor alone. Like I know back in the day it was the norm but today in 2020 it is not and should not. So many people are asking me how I feel about it and I’ll tell you that I’m not happy. It makes me so sad that women are now delivering their children without a familiar support system. Yall know how big I am on advocates and it’s no doubt in my mind that advocates keep mother’s safe and heard. A great advocate centers the mother and make sure that everything that is suppose to be done is done. Research even shows that for Black women, an advocate helps to keep them alive as implicit bias plays a huge part in death and injury for Black women in pregnancy, labor, and delivery.
Being alone can literally cost a woman her life. So hearing that support persons will not be allowed in the delivery room for some women really does scare me and just doesn’t rest easy in my soul. I also think that it puts a lot of on my collegues and nurses. I’ve see the memes of a women giving birth and a team of nurses, midwives, and physicians surrounding her. And this is a beautiful picture and usually how deliveries are…unless the baby kinda falls out before everyone can get to the room LOL. But that is just a moment in time. Of course we are there for the delivery and we celebrate her and cheer and sometimes cry with mom. That moment does happen and it’s amazing. I’ll always love the moment of delivering a baby. But what about the moments before and after. The times when ish can really go wrong? As amazing as physicians, midwives, and nurses are, we can’t be everywhere at all times. We will always be taking care of someone else. We will are always trying to make everyone feel heard and not alone. No one will be able to sit with a patient 24/7. None of us will replace a support person. So as cute as that meme is, it’s just not the truth and it paints a false reality. Yes you won’t be alone for the delivery, which no one thought, but you will be alone the time before and after. I hate that women will have to experience that.
I’m just at a loss with all of this but I at least wanted to give some tips on how to make lemonade out of lemons.
Get your birth plan together NOW. You can tune in to Episode Day 9 “ I have big plans” to learn how to write a birth plan that can help your team to keep you safe.
Look into apps that will allow you to video chat people so you can have someone in the room with you. Some hospitals are even working to have tablets available to do different types of video chatting. Ask if they have this available.
You can look into virtual doulas. I’m working on a list of people that provide this service. If you go to our facebook page, I have posted two there that are so excited about offering this service
Trust your team. Please know that we hate this for you too but we do want to provide you with the best care. Trust that we are still coming to work everyday to make sure you survive your labor and delivery and postpartum. Even with these huge changes, nothing has changed as far as our commitment to you.
Please do NOT decide to do a home birth. I also have a podcast episode on this. Again, this episode was not to scare Mommas but to give information about home births and if you’re a candidate. Most Americans are not candidates and the American system is not set up to support home births. You do not want to test the system, especially during these times. It’s not worth it
Some mothers have expressed that they really wanted to have First 48 pictures. I found an amazing youtube video on how to do your own videos from a professional photographer. I’ll post her information on our FB page also. It’s really great and I wish I had it when I had my chocolate cherubs.
Get your medical records. I know many of you are deciding to go to hospitals that will allow support persons. Remember, this means your physician or midwife will not be delivering you. So please at least help us out by bringing your records with you so we know who you are and how to better serve you.
Tune into Episode 15 for more tips on how to weather this curve ball and stay safe.